This journal is FRIENDS ONLY!!
IF you want to see behind the curtain comment and let me know.

Save The World - One Click At A Time!

On each of these websites, you can click a button to support the cause -- each click creates funding, and costs you nothing! Bookmark these sites, and click once a day!





Click here to post this on your page or 'blog

I got a day back on the boards!!!!

So, what happens when you give 20 actors, 5 writers, 5 directors, and countless interns 24 hours to write and perform the most entertaining, heart-wrenching, death-defying plays known to man/woman?
Don't know?
Neither do we because we haven't written it yet!!!
Are they up to the challenge? Do they have what it takes? Can they remember their lines? Place your bets...
Come out on Monday June,1 to see the first installment of The 24 Hour Plays at Gorilla Tango Theater.

Date:Monday, June 1, 2009
Time:8:00pm - 9:00pm
Location: Gorilla Tango Theater
Street:1919 N. Milwaukee Ave. (by the Western Blue Line)
City/Town:Chicago, IL

Purchase Tickets

Oh California....
*hangs head in shame*

Every argument I have ever heard against same sex marriage has been based on biblical/Christian beliefs. It hasn't been based on anything political, financial, medical, environmental...you know, the things that government is supposed to be concerned with. If I remember correctly there was some kind of major country ratified movement that declared the FUCKING SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!!!!

I'm so...disgusted.
Really, that is the word. Disgusted.

I am all for people having their own opinions.
So you are entitled to marry who you want to marry.
But why do you think you have the right to tell others who they can or can't marry?!?

Somewhere in the back of my head is a long eloquent speech so support my views. But right now I am sad and disgusted and the words just won't come.

If a church or other private institution chooses not to perform a certain type of ceremony that is their choice. They are a private business. As a private business they are entitled to exercise their opinions in that way.
But it should not be a government issue of any kind. There should not be any type of governmentally supported agency that should refuse this service.

i just....

ARRGGHHHHH!!!!
It is so infuriating.
It is so disgusting.
It is so narrow-minded.
And it is so NONE OF ANYONE ELSE'S FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!

Justice Carlos R Moreno- I salute you for trying to do the right thing. I respect you for trying to stand up for the rights of individuals and the ideal on which this country was founded.

So, my birthday is on the 26th. I worked things out so I have the week (25-2) off. I was hoping for a lovely stay-cation followed by my friend's wedding.
Instead I get long distance planning of my mother's wake, then my friend's wedding and then my mother's wake.
Really, a shitty birthday week.

In light of that I am going to play the pity card and declare that I have earned the right to ask for stuff!!!
Two lists. The easy list and the wish for the stars list. Almost all of it is on my amazon wish list.

1) Mostly, I want my friends. I want to be surrounded by them and laugh with them and all that good stuff.
2) Acupuncture/ Massage. It is a school so it is only about 30.00 per appt.
3) My very own not-bootlegged copy of The Mad
4) Mani-pedi day.
5) Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
6) A juicer. I really want to dive deep into the Raw Food thing and this will help immensely.
7) This Showerhead. I had one before and I LOVED it.
8) Small Yoga Balls. Joke about my huge balls may now commence.
9) Repo! The Genetic Opera
10) Bath Bombs. (Special thanks to Jolie for the Sympathy gift. It will be used to its fullest potential.)
11) AMC or Regal Cinemas Gift Cards.

And wishing for the stars....
1) Headshot reprints.- They are cheap here
2) New headshots. I need some in color...
3) A new laptop. My little Veger is holding up well given her years but that isn't saying much.
4) Website/Online portfolio. I know how much it would cost me if I had to pay someone to do it so it is in the Wish Big list.
5) Tickets to some big shows here in Chicago. Really, anything. There is so much good theater here. I need to see some of it...Wicked, Spamalot, Jersey Boys...whatever.
6) Classes with the NeoFuturists. I don't think I can do this session but next session...
7) Gym Membership. Seriously, I'm fat and out of shape. I need this.
8) Self cleaning litterbox. This is something I think my kitty sitters would also appreciate.
9) Skydiving. I really need to jump out of an airplane.
10) Ink. Several of you know Loki. If you don't want to do then for me then do it for him. :-)

So, there you have it. My all out wish for it all lists. Because really, who ever thought I would make 36....

My birthday is in a week. I have the week of my birthday off as "vacation time". I did have all these grand plans for a dinner or two, a day of beauty, an evening with the NeoFuturists... Sadly, having missed over a week of work to deal with the first stages of Mom's death all the money squirreled away for those things has to go to other stuff...like bills. But, all things considered, I really need to celebrate.

Thanks to the wonderful and amazing Crazy Larry I still get to do one of the the things I had planned-
3 RINGS OF HORROR ZOMBIE PUB CRAWL!!!!
Now be careful- there are 2 Zombie Pub Crawls that day. Scroll down to the information about Weird Chicago's 3 Rings of Horror.
You have to sign up in advance and you can get the tickets here. Again, scroll down to the 3 Rings of Horror and not the regular tour. (Although the tour is definitely worth attending.) It is only 15.00 and this gets you a ride from bar to bar as well as drink specials, movies, Misfits Cover band and a ton of other fun stuff.

And you should join me. I mean, it's Saturday Night Zombie Goodness. Do you really have anything better to do?

I'll post a wish list later. Or you can just click on the link for my Amazon Wish list that is in the sidebar of my LJ...

Don't forget to change your clocks.
"Spring Forward" and all that mess at 2:00am.
Yes, that means at 4am bars you lose an hour of drinking.
Begin the revolution.

I woke this morning to find that Dharma- my sweet little Black Bear Hamster- passed away last night. :-(
She was the sweetest baby. She liked taking treats from my mouth and curling up on my neck under my hair. I loved the way she stuffed treats into her cheeks.
She was a housewarming/ Christmas gift from project_mayhem_ when I moved here. She grew from being a sickly little thing about the size of a walnut (with a fat butt) into a friendly super cuddly hamster who actually weighed about a half a pound. She'd climb up on my shoulder and we'd walk around the house. Sometimes I'd put her into the bed and she'd curl up at my chin or under my hair. She also liked getting into her ball and chasing the cats around the house.

Burying her in the frozen ground was not really the best way to start the day.

A little late in the day but-
Happy Solstice Everyone.
I sincerely hope that on this, the longest night, that you find much light in the darkness.
And if you need just a pinpoint- know that I am lighting a candle just for you.

Ok, it is that time of year to wish. It is the time to be materialistic as well as giving. It is the time for
HOLIDAY WISH LIST MEME!!


STEP ONE
- Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 (or 12) holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas/Yule/Kwanzaa/Channukah is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. [Note: Your home address is not required!]

- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread.

STEP TWO
-Surf around your friendslist (or friend's friend's, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call. There are no guarantees with this project, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive.

And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.


My wishes...

Cash- It might be crass but it is also practical.
Mani/Pedi- Anywhere really. Gift certificates work. Or if you are near (or I am near you) and want to do a day out for pampering then that is good too.
Photo Editing.- I have a ton of great pictures that need to be cleaned up so I can get a portfolio together.
Website/ Online Portfolio- It might really help my work.
Headshot reprints.- They are cheap here.
Accupuncture.- Again, let's go the economic route.
Tattoo.- I really want to go to Loki in Atlanta but I am open to other suggestions.
A Laptop.- Mine is seriously on its last legs. (But she putters on and that is why I love her so.)
Vosges Candy Bars. They have so many that just look heavenly.
Coffee- Specifically Green Mountain Organic French Roast and/or Starbuck's Christmas Blend.
Bubble Bath- Not Foam bath. Actual bubble bath. Maybe even Glow in the Dark Bubble Bath...
Bath Bombs. There are some great ones here. What can I say- I likes my baths. :-)
Oh, and of course from my southern friends. White Mexican Cheese Dip. :-)

If you need an info email me and I'll fill ya in.

Now, go forth and make dreams come true...
Later, a post of some of may favorite arts and crafters to add amazing and unique touches to your holiday giving.

I sipped a cup of tea while I watched the sun rise on this Veteran's Day.
I thought about my Father. He doesn't talk much about his time in the Navy. It was not a place he went out of a sense of pride or obligation. He went because it was the law. But, while he was there it was his job. And, as in all things, he did his job to the best of his ability.
I sipped my tea and I thought of an old high school friend who went into the Army. He went in as a robust, bright eyed young man. He came out in a few pieces in bag.
I sipped my tea and I thought of so many of my other friends and associates who have spent time in the various branches of the armed forces. Some of them saw "action" while other did not. Some of them wear the history as a badge of growth and pride. Some are less proud.
I thought of many friends and associates currently serving and how I watch the news for updates on event and how I wait eagerly for their next emails and journal posts to see what new tings they are learning and to make sure they are still ok.
I sipped my tea and I thought of one of my newer, yet closer friends who will be off to the Air Force shortly. I thought of the conversations we have had and his mix of pride, enthusiasm, doubt and fear. I thought of that odd cold pit I get in my stomach when I think of the darker side of what may happen for him. I thought more of the wonderful opportunities that will await him for making this leap.
I sipped my tea and said a prayer and thought of all of it...good and bad...hopeful and desolate...gained and lost.
And I thank them for stepping up, standing strong, and doing the things that allow me
to sip my tea,
watch the sunrise
and think.

Thank you Veterans.
All of you.
For all you have done.
For all that you do.
And for all that will come.

There will always be a candle lit to guide you home.

I was remarkably lucky.
I started reading before I started walking and my parents encouraged and supported me in reading everything.
My grandmother was a reading teacher at my first elementary school and she would bring home books for me before I started school.
This made a setback though, by the time I started kindergarten I had read almost all of the books in the school library.
I was also reading on an 8th grade level by the time I was in the first grade.
My parents read too me and with me. Robert Asprin, Spider Robinson and Erma Bombeck were often our bed time stories. It was amazing.
I never had to hide anything. I truly feel sorry for kids that have to hide books of any kind from their parents.
I feel even worse for school, communities and nations that forbid books to their children.

Do you ever find those people in your life who you mesh with?
The people for whom there need be no words?
But when they do speak you feel a resonance with the sounds of their soul more than their words?
Everyone has times that they think, "I wish so-and so was here." But have you ever felt that retroactively?
Have you met someone, then thought about moments in your life and wish that they had been there?
There are those people.
You are those people...for me.
I am sure you are that person for others.
There is a quality in you that is deep as oceans. It has a connection with the universe that is mystical.
I feel that when I am in your presence.
With you as the sea and mech_angel the moon carrying your tides.
It is breathtaking.
I am honored to be the butterfly that sometimes flaps her wings in your reality.

Written because of this:
Inspired by thenowhere 4 years ago I swipe from wolven:

Write something for me, that encompasses the mood, the emotion, the feeling of Fall. Two necessary components: Fall and Me. A feeling of me, a thought about me, a way you see me, something you want from me. "Just for me. Post it in your journal so everyone else can see it, too. A sentence, a paragraph. Nanofiction. Short story. A scene, dialogue, a picture described, a moment, anything. Long or short. But it's got to be just for me. Tell the world you wrote it for me, even. Mine.

"Then feel free to put this up in your own journal, and I'll reciprocate."

Inspired by thenowhere 4 years ago I swipe from wolven:

Write something for me, that encompasses the mood, the emotion, the feeling of Fall. Two necessary components: Fall and Me. A feeling of me, a thought about me, a way you see me, something you want from me. "Just for me. Post it in your journal so everyone else can see it, too. A sentence, a paragraph. Nanofiction. Short story. A scene, dialogue, a picture described, a moment, anything. Long or short. But it's got to be just for me. Tell the world you wrote it for me, even. Mine.

"Then feel free to put this up in your own journal, and I'll reciprocate."

(wolven, your post is in the works. :-) )

Friends: 245
Friend of: 303

So, the people I list as friends obviously I know...or at least they told me who they were, why they are here and tempted me enough to add them to this- mostly friends only- journal.

The rest of you- seriously- who the fuck are you?

In case you haven't heard tonight is the second (and final) night of screenings for the 48 Hour Film Project at The Portage Theater.
What happens when you give 35 teams 48 hours to write, shoot, edit and submit a short film? Oh, and you assign them a genre randomly. And one more thing- you give them a prop, character and line that must be included in the film?
Well, it is the 48 Hour Film Project.
For a measly 10 bucks you can check out 16 of these super short films tonight.

(And them vote for MIM Films "2-2-2-9" as the best of...I'm in that one :-) )

So the short of it:
What: The 48 Hour Film Project Screening
When- Thurs Jun 26 Group A- 7:00pm
Fri June 27 Group B- 7:00pm
Where: The Portage Theater- 4050 W Milwaukee- Chicago, Il 60601
How Much: 10.00- CASH ONLY Tickets go on Sale 1 hour prior to the screening.

I searched the train platform for anything that could be a weapon. It didn't have to be great. Zombies were slow. The only advantage they would have is resilience and numbers.
A garbage can lid and a piece of rebar from the recent construction and I was set.
If I could make it to the car and then make it home.
My apartment was pretty secure. Mostly underground and the windows were little lits that nothing could get through. Except maybe and animal. Was this affecting dogs and cats? Or was it just people?
I made my way to the top of the platform. It was abandoned.
One block...Just one block to the car. I could do this. I peered warily to the street. Again, empty.
Had people learned from the last time? Was everyone really staying in their homes and remaining calm?
I bolted out the door and up the street.
People hadn't been staying in their homes. There were bodies in the streets and signs of looting. I made it to the car without incident. I saw a few of the infected on the bridge above me. Fortunately, I went unnoticed. There were already sniper helicopters taking shots and the noise drowned out my footsteps.
Holy crap? What if they think I am infected? What if I get shot?

I made it to the car. I unlocked the door and started to climb in. The greek bakery I had parked by had the windows smashed. I paused for a moment.
I don't have any food in the house. There is no telling how long I'll have to stay bunkered down there...
I went into the bakery, grabbed a couple of bags and loaded it with croissants and muffins.
The occasional apocalypse was lousy if you were one of those Atkins freaks.
The meat counter in the back hadn't been touched. So, I loaded up on a variety of kabob meats.
If I could get some vegetables then I'd be doing pretty damn well.
I left a 20.00 on the counter. It was supposed to be my laundry money and it wasn't enough to cover the price of all I took but it was all I had and better then nothing.
This was just an apocalypse after all, no need to go all primal.

The rush home allowed me to mow down a couple of the infected. In hind sight I shouldn't have done it. The car was just a loaner after all. Then again, there was no promise that my mechanic would make it through this.
Home safe I took time to survey the street before making the run into my apartment.
Through the gate, the outer door, the inner door and then into my unit. I really didn't think a zombie would make it through all that.
I hung the fabric I had purchased to make temporary curtains. It needed to get done and it would help to block any signs of motion that might get their attention.

I settled in, drew myself a bath, heated a blueberry muffin and picked up a book.
If things went as usual all I have to do it make it through the night.
I caught the occasional signal to check my email and blogs. Several of my friends had posted they were safe. A few others made it known they were looking for loved ones and safe haven. Others....well, you lose people in these things. It happens. It is heartbreaking but it is the way of the world.

If we, as a people, as a species would stop fucking up the natural order of things then maybe, just maybe-
The natural order of things would stop fighting back.

The train ride home was a battle.
I thought the woman was a fluke. I thought maybe I had been seeing things. She was just a homeless lady. Whatever I thought I saw on the back of her head...
The train car was empty until nearly the end of my route.
Then a guy came bursting through the connection doors. He was screaming about some crazy in the last car. He was clutching his neck and blood poured through his hand.
"That crazy bitch bit me! She just came up and bit me!"
That's when I saw them. Pushed against the windows and the connection door of the train.
Moaning, ragged, bleeding....and dead.

I knew how it was going to go. This wasn't my first apocalypse after all.
I looked at the man in the train car with me. I felt bad for him. He looked like he was a really nice guy.
"Open the window. How far are we from the platform? Maybe we can strand them in the tunnel."
He opened the window and stuck his head out.
"We're pretty close." He replied. "Maybe 100 yards and closing."
He didn't hear me walk up behind him. I grabbed the back of his shirt.
"Hey, back up a little. I need in! There's a wa....."
His body slumped to the floor as his head bounced down the track. I pulled the emergency break.
The train screeched to a halt. I pried the doors open and was just able to squeeze through onto the platform. Anything in the card behind me would have a hell of a time getting off that train.

Now I just needed a game plan to get through the street to my car.

I caught the train and made my way over to Malcolm X College to meet some people for an audition. The weather was beautiful but there is a storm brewing.
Little did I know how portentous those rolling clouds would be.
I had never seen a campus so empty. It was creepy but I thought, "Hey, summer session", right? There were only a couple of us at the audition and the directors kept talking about a few more who were supposed to join us. One of the guys made the comment, "Maybe the zombies got them."
I laughed and the director looked at me like I was the devil.

After the audition I made my way back to the train and didn't see a soul. The train rolled in and as I boarded a girl shambled past and ran into me.
"Fuckin' homeless." I muttered as the her rank stench reached my nose.
I turned to demand an apology when I saw the gaping hole in the back of her head.
"What the hell? Lady, are you ok?"
She turned to me with a dazed look in her eye. And I say eye, singular, as the other socket was a squirming mass of maggots and worms.
She let out a strange gargle and lunged. I hit her in the head with my umbrella and pushed her back onto the platform. Luckily, the doors closed and the trained pulled away before she could come at me again.
I stared out the window as her body buffeted off the side of the train and then fell to the tracks below....

...Real friends help you move bodies.
In this case I am just asking you to be a friend. :-)

Seriously, I could really use help moving. I am still hoping to move most if not all of the little stuff on Thurs and Friday. I should find out the possibility of that by Tuesday.
Saturday I am scheduled to pick up a truck at 1:30 pm. If it weren't for the stairs I could move everything by myself. But the stairs make things complicated. On the up side, there are only stairs on the "load in" side. There aren't any on the "load out" side. (Ok to be honest there are...but there are only three of them.) I am hoping that the roommate and I will get the chance to put the mattress in the alley before the move.

I managed to get a friend at work to take my shift that day so I can make this move as stress free as possible.
If all goes well I'll have my medical reimbursement or some better clothing sales before the move and there will be food and beer. If not then I promise a tasty dinner in the next month to thank everyone who helps me.

So- the Poll!!!

Poll #1193314 Moving the Bodies...
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: Friends

Can you help me move?

Ok, not my soul but my clothes.
I need money. :-(
There are several things here that I hate to give up but it is practical and needed.
Check out my post in Lippy Addicts and buy my stuff...please.

Ok, a couple of days ago I made this comment:
I guess my final note of the morning will be to remind you all that Sunday is Mother's Day.
Do something nice for you moms. Even if they are horrid people they did bring you into this world and that should count for something.
I wish I could do something great for my mom. We don't always get along. But the truth of the matter is that she loves me and more often than not she comes through for me when I really need it. And to be fair, most of my good traits (my ambition, my fierceness, my devotion, my creativity) come from her. She did the things that let me be raised as an actress, theater junkie, scream queen, band roadie, emotional care giver and all around creative flake. I should do more for her-and for myself- to thank her for that.
There are allot of you out there who she has done some pretty great things for as well. If you could take the time to thank her- send her a short email or e-card ( you can send stuff to xxxxxxxxxxxxx) or something- it would mean the world. To her and to me. (Took out her email address since this is public.)

This is the time when I make a very uncharacteristic public post to say some very important things to my mom. And I am making them public because I am proud to say them.

Mom,
I love you.
I know I wasn't the easiest kid to raise. Ok, correction- I was a pretty easy kid. It was the mid-late teens and 20's that were our darkest days.
But we made it through.
I also know that I have make a lousy adult. Somehow I haven't gotten the hang of this whole responsibility/ life management thing. I don't really know why that is. You and Dad did a wonderful job at instilling in me a sense of responsibility, honesty, fairness and compassion. I am not sure where I dropped the ball on the matters of finances and commitment but it is just that- something in me. I'll get it. I promise.

What I think is more important is that I am a good person at heart. I am loyal, strong and brave. I am a survivor. All of those things I learned from you. My friends often comment on my devotion to them. That is also something I learned from you. I am surrounded by so many of the most talented and beautiful souls. I like to think that like attracts like. There is beauty and talent in me and that too comes from you.

You have bailed me out of more situations than I care to count. Whether it was money, a roof over my head, food in my mouth or a car under my ass- all things any adult should be able to provide for themselves- you have provided for me when I have failed myself. On top of that you have reminded me that I am durable. You have helped to renew my faith in myself when I have lost sight of it.

And you do all of these things for so many other people as well. Family, co workers, strangers- you give so much all of the time and I admire that so much.

Now, you are facing so much with health issues. (I am often worried that the stress of worrying about me makes it worse.) You are facing it with strength and dignity. When my own health issues start to get the best of me I think of how much more you are dealing with. It reminds me that I come from a line of strong women. You have heavier burdens and you still manage better than I do. It motivates me to be stronger and to do better.

This hasn't been the prettiest letter I have ever written. I think it is hard because there is so much in my heart that I just don't have the language for. The words fail.
But it had to be written. I had to tell you that I love you and admire you. All of the good in me has come from you.
I am getting better at this whole "life" thing. But I never would have made it this far if it weren't for you.
You are beautiful and stronger than anyone I know.
Thank you for helping me through everything. I promise soon that I will be someone who you can be as proud of as I am of you.
I love you Mom.